Living Through the Teenage Years
When things can get awkward
By Olivia B
If you are parents of a teenager it is best that you expect the unexpected. A day that seems ordinary will suddenly take a turn, when with your teen, a surge of hormones comes running in the door. Bringing an unexpected outburst related to a sudden feeling, it has a way of throwing stability out the door. It may be because a best friend failed to meet an expectation, or the sudden dislike of a once favorite outfit. The teen years are full of triumphs and tears.
Stresses
For teens beginning to find themselves, the trouble is, they don't know where to look. We remember the need to be part of the "in group" among them and how important it was to dress alike to identify to others, that "you" have arrived.
The conflict for teens is the wedge that exists between what you have been taught in their home and what they see going on in the outside world. They have overwhelming messages from the present day media, it tells them in many ways, that the "cool people" are the sexiest, the prettiest, the most macho. They hear the music, and see the movies and play the games of today. But hopefully this will be balanced by involvement with activities, sports, music and dance and youth groups. It is the leaders in the community, the religious affiliations, schools and families, that help set the adolescent mind on a more even keel.
Confusion
The sudden discovery of new urges interrupts a once organized mind. They are learning about their sexuality and are often distracted by flirtations and experimentation. It is at this time that a close adult or parent, should pick up on the teachable moments. Instilling values that appreciate the intimacy of sexual relationships in grounded and meaningful relationships is important. Teaching the most valued lessons on precautions as they relate to preventing pregnancy and disease becomes vital.
Different Areas of Life
Helping teens make choices in their classes and reinforcing academic standards and goals is very important. Relish in their accomplishments and support them in their goals. Help them during difficult times or when they have had a disappointment.
Reinforce your life as a family. Have an open door to your home, where their friends are always welcome. This gives you the opportunity to meet those your teen spends time with. Feed all of them well, as good food and laughs with teens goes a long way.
It’s Worth It
The teen years are always a challenge, for both the teen and the parent. The teen needs the constancy of unconditional love and the strict reinforcement of values. Touch them often with a tousle to the head, an arm around their shoulder or a hug. Never shut them out, be sure your communications with your teen never leaves a doubt that they can always come to you, no matter how bad something seems.