Parents and Potty Training

Help for moms and dads

By Cynthia Albillar

There is a time between the ages of one and three when a child shows an interest in using the bathroom. They will often follow a parent of older sibling into the bathroom, flush the toilet, etc. This is the ideal time to start potty training.

Where to Start

Begin by buying and setting up the potty chair. Although there are many seats for on the toilet, I feel that this adds another degree of anxiety to the potty experience. Most children find it difficult to get on the toilet by themselves and many have a fear (reasonably I might add, it does happen) of falling into the toilet and getting stuck. I feel using the adult toilet is best saved for after the child gets used to the potty theory.

To help the child notice when they have to go to the bathroom, use diapers or training pants that let them feel when they are wet.

Most children have a pattern to when they need to go to the bathroom. Often this is after they wake up and 15 to 20 minutes after they start eating. Rather than wait until it is an emergency, take the child to the bathroom at these times. Setting up this pattern decreases accidents and decreases the need to interrupt activities with emergency potty breaks.

Help Your Child Do it Themselves

In order to encourage independence in potty usage, make sure your child is dressed in clothes they can get out of by themselves. Nothing is more frustrating to a potty bound toddler than being stuck in overalls that they can't unbutton, or a sleeper they can't get off quickly enough.

Unfortunately, potty training can become a power play as parents try to enforce the behavior and children rebel. I have known many children who become embarrassed or afraid when they have had an accident. Often this resulted in the child trying to hide it or pretend that it didn't happen.

Shame and humiliation are not tools to use to manipulate the child's behavior. Do not yell or show anger when the child has an accident. Instead teach him or her what to do about it. Help them clean themselves up, dispose of the clothes properly and see that any other mess is taken care of. This encourages independence and increases the child's control of himself and his environment. That is, after all, the purpose of potty training. It reinforces the child's control of his own body and teaches him responsibility for himself and his actions

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